Archive for September, 2007

OJ’s Eleven — A Short

It looks like OJ had some help during his hotel room heist. This creative spoof on Ocean’s Eleven tells all.

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Did Michael Vick Smoke Marijuana To Beat The System?

I think it goes without saying that many NFL fans, not to mention the rest of the nation, are disgusted with Michael Vick’s blatant disregard for the wishes of U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson and U.S. Magistrate Dennis Dohnal. On September 13th, Vick’s urine sample tested positive for marijuana during some random drug testing. This Tuesday, Vick was indicted on state charges of beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and engaging in or promoting dogfighting. Each felony is punishable by up to 5 years in prison. With the arraignment for the most recent charges just around the corner — October 3rd — Michael Vick potentially faces alot of jail time.

Legitimate Loophole or Conspiracy Theory?
On my way home from work today, I was listening to one of the local sports talk shows discuss the latest Michael Vick quagmire. Some guy that sounded about as credible as Jerry Fletcher in Conspiracy Theory…and just as apprehensive…suggested that by taking advantage of an obscure Federal Bureau of Prisons (B.O.P.) Rotational/Developmental Assignment Program (R.D.A.P.) loophole — 18 U.S.C. 3621 to be exact — that Vick could possibly reduce his sentence by one year. This documented instance of substance abuse apparently qualifies Vick for this reduction upon completion of a treatment program. Keep in mind that lab results from Vick’s previous incident at Miami International Airport with the water bottle came back negative. Its arguable that he’s done more harm than help. I happen to think so. The statute says the following:

Period of custody — The period a prisoner convicted of a nonviolent offense remains in custody after successfully completing a treatment program may be reduced by the Bureau of Prisons, but such reduction may not be more than one year from the term the prisoner must otherwise serve.

Take a look at the Imprisonment of a convicted person statute 18 U.S.C. 3621 at the Cornell University Law School website. I’m no lawyer, nor do I have any legal background, but this sounds like a load of crap to me. I even found a website that specializes in federal prison reduction. It does say “nonviolent offense”. But could it be true? Trust me. I’ve got calls into a few of my attorney friends (they better not charge me), and have yet to hear back. But I’m interested to hear what you think. BS or Legit?

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9th Birthday = Google Pinata

This morning, I went searching for a few things on Google. When I saw the piñata, I began to wonder if September 27th was a Mexican holiday that I’d forgotten. I mean…I do live in San Antonio where every April, we celebrate Fiesta San Antonio, which rivals Mardi Gras without the bewbies…well, for the most part anyway. It looks like Google is celebrating its 9th birthday (notice the shape of the piñata…a “9″). Happy Birthday, Google!

Piñatas are all the rage. If you don’t know what a piñata is (pronounced peen-yah-tah), the omniscient Wikipedia can elaborate. Basically its loaded up with candy, and kids take turns whacking it with a stick (and occasionally each other) followed by an all out scrum for the candy. They come in all shapes and colors…including Lightning McQueen, Spongebob, and George Bush.

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NFL Week 3 Recap — Power Rangers and Some Texans

It’s about 11:50am. Just downed a triple stack of cakes at Champps Americana sitting in front of a cluster of big screens armed with the DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket. As my eyes peruse the various pregame shows, I do a double take…and almost regurgitate my pancakes. Philly and Detroit. For a second, I thought maybe the A/V guy landed on an episode of the Power Rangers. Needless to say I was confused by the unis. It quickly became evident that the Eagles were celebrating 75 years, but baby blue and yellow? These were replicas of the original blue and yellow unis from the team’s 1933 inaugural season. It’s probably best that they decided to go with the current color scheme in a harsh environment like Philly.

The Eagles wasted no time preserving every ounce of dignity they had left. Donovan’s comments on HBO must have motivated his team. Brian Westbrook sliced through the Lions front line like a hot knife for 110 yards and 2 scores and added another 111 from Donovan for another score. The Lions defense underestimated Kevin Curtis, or he was just a beneficiary of a broken defense. Curtis pulled in 11 receptions…3 of those to the house…for 221 yards. And none of those came as a result of the Deion Sanders “double move” theory. I’m also proud to say that Curtis is 1 of 4 guys I labelled as an NFL sleeper this year. I should have thrown Wes Welker in there while I had the chance.

Cowboys or Texans?
While their efforts were fruitless, the Texans put on a show for their fans against the mighty defending Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts. Without star wide receiver, Andre Johnson, and an early exit by Ahman Green, Matt Schaub and the Houston Texans nearly upset the Colts Sunday. Despite being sacked 3 times, Schaub shook what his mama gave him and orchestrated a last-minute comeback to move within 6 points of the Colts. If that’s not impressive, I’m not sure what else would help the Texans earn the respect they’ve earned so far.

The Cowboys battled it out with the Chicago Bears. Marion Barber III went toe-to-toe with the entire Bears defense. In the first half, Tony Romo looked frustrated. He must have downed a Diet Pepsi Max or two at halft-awwww (that’s a yawn…and it’s funnier if you’ve seen the commercial). Despite the early struggles, Tony Romo proceeded to sling ice ropes to 7 different Cowboys receivers.

It’s hard to give the Cowboys defense the same credit as that of the Texans. And the Texans don’t have as many offensive weapons as the Cowboys. So, who’s the better team?

Wrecks Gross Man
Naturally, I watched the Cowboys/Bears postgame on the NFL Network. “I have to take care of the football…do what I do best.” No, no, Rex. You did. Three picks with one to the house? That is what you do best.

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Friday’s Finds — 09/21/2007

Social Media has played a huge role in my online experience this week. Chalk another one up for StumbleUpon (SU). I thought I’d share a couple of helpful links I found via SU; show how Su has helped my traffic; and, introduce you to some more social media that looks just as promising.

• This week, Brian Clark over at CopyBlogger posted an interesting study about using instructions in anchor text versus descriptive anchor text. Maybe this observation needs to be narrowed down to split articles and previews, but the results of the study were pretty interesting. Click here to read more.
• Ben Yoskovitz of Instigator Blog did a guest post at CopyBlogger. Normally I wouldn’t lead you to one blog twice in Friday’s Finds; but this post expands upon the previous post, “Click here”. Ben suggests using links and specific styles of anchor text for different reasons by offering Five Types of
  Links and how to use them.
• Referrals have played an important role in my traffic this week. I received a total of 1,445 referrals from Google for Kyla Ebbert (the Hooters waitress kicked off the Southwest Airlines plane), 3,405 referrals from StumbleUpon for the Andrew Meyer taser story, and 280 referrals to my NFL Week 2 recap by being linked from a larger sports blog. Tad Chef over at SEO 2.0 shows a similar breakdown of traffic on his blog…declaring StumbleUpon “the most successful social browsing service”.
• BlogCatalog has introduced a new feature called Groups, which is currently in beta. From what I can tell, it is very similar to StumbleUpon. I urge those of you that use BlogCatalog to check it out.

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These Guys Don’t Shoot Blanks

Whitetail deer are all the rage here in Texas. Apparently so is whitetail semen. It is whitetail semen, right guys? (I can’t wait to see the AdSense ads for this one).

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NFL Week 3 Preview…And Donovan McNabb

Let me start by saying…I love black quarterbacks. Sound facetious? After you watch the video, you’ll see where I was going.

About a month ago, Donovan McNabb interviewed with James Brown on HBO’s “Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel”. It finally aired a couple of days ago. In the interview, McNabb insisted that black quarterbacks have it harder in the NFL. Waa! Waa! Hey, Donovan. Remember…that time….when Peyton Manning…um…was referred to as…a choke art…um artist? That was awesome. (Only Farley could have said it better.) McNabb’s comments definitely caught most people off guard including yours truly. My first thought was that James Brown should place a pacifier in Donovan’s Thick & Chunky mouth after that interview. Speaking of which…I’m REALLY GLAD James Brown gave the interview. ‘Nuf said. Roll the tape.

Donovan is obviously frustrated. It is merely a coincidence that his team is now 0-2. But due to his reign as leader of the Philadelphia Eagles, he’s likely to take the most criticism. But is he correct in pulling the race card in this situation? I think not. He’s definitely an above average Quarterback…black or white. I can’t begin to imagine what it is like to step into the shoes of an African-American man, much less an African-American athlete. The thing that caused me to roll my eyes is the fact that he actually believes that his white counterparts aren’t as criticized as often as he is is absurd. I thought the media was trying to make Peyton Manning cry last season. Goog thing he stepped up and won the Super Bowl.

Byron Leftwich Heads To Atlanta
We all knew Joey Harrington (aka. Joey Haha) wasn’t the answer in Atlanta.

Byron Leftwich isn’t funny.

It appears that he’s Joey Harrington no matter where he plays. Imagine that. But Byron Leftwich? At least he can leave the cast of Saturday Night Live to play football again after signing a 2-year, $7 million contract with the Falcons.

Nevermind that the Falcons are dead last in points per game…that would be zero points…or that Joey Haha has a passer rating of 74.1 (19th so far). Joey Haha has been sacked 13 times. Thirteen. How many games will “Mr. Glass” last with that kind of protection…or lack thereof? It’s anyone’s guess at this point how Leftwich going to help, but I suppose anyone is better than Joey Haha at this point. Best of luck, Byron. NBC will miss you, but the NFL welcomes you back.

Texans D & Rookie OGs
Where did these guys come from? So they played Kansas City and allowed 21 points against the Panthers. Um…did anyone else notice that Mario Williams has more TDs than Reggie Bush? Who’s the sucka now, Texans fans? They’ve racked up 6.0 ginormous sacks, a couple of scores to the SwishaHouse, and they’re not afraid of anyone…including the Colts. And if you don’t remember, the last team to drop the Colts was Houston. After the tight game with Vince Young and the Titans last week, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Texans did it again. But ask me to put my money where my mouth is. Not a chance.

On Monday, I was quick to crown Adrian Peterson as Offensive Rookie of the Year. Ok, so I went Denny Green on that post, but I do think he’s up for consideration. I’m embarrassed to admit that I completely ignored the fact that Calvin Johnson has had two solid performances. And watch out for DeShawn Wynn who is starting to gain notice. This year’s 5′10″ version Maurice Jones Drew? Speaking of which, has anyone seen MJD around this season? I’m beginning to worry.

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